I always say that my healing started when I became aware of what I was dealing with.
“You can not protect yourself from an invisible fist“.
So I wanted to firstly talk about what is a narcissistic and how to know if you have been close to one.
NPD ( Narcissistic Personality Disorder) occurs when a man or woman suffers from deviant or abnormal personality behaviors that are so bad they create a trail of destruction or carnage upon those closest to them.
If you have been following me, you know that I was raised by a narcissistic and mostly dated them. The agony of the mind games and simulated love or betrayal by them is beyond painful and devastating. Once I became aware, I was disgusted by what I learned. I cut everyone I felt had traits or full blown NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) off. I became angry, devastated, depressed, paranoid and I saw them as loud blazing red sirens. I then became obsessed with learning how this disorder affected me.
Victims of Narcissism may display a cluster of symptoms such as:
Avoidance of Personal Interaction
Sleeping or Eating Difficulties
Memory Loss or Impairment
Lost Sense of Self
Loss of Interest/Detachment
I must stress that if you think you are experiencing any of these symptoms get away from these people and get help.
Narcissist are individuals with an exaggerated sense of self having a grandiose ego of superiority over others , and requiring constant need of attention, affection, admiration, and praise. They seek out to find and target those who are most empathetic, nurturing, and sympathetic to their portrayal of having a troubled past, riddled with bad decisions, and bad luck. However, as victims later learn this is all too far from the truth as the narcissist have hidden lifestyles, secretive behaviors, mental disorders, that wreck havoc upon their primary sources of supply in which a trail of destruction is left behind.
Victims are left to pick up the broken pieces of their shattered lives, lives that were turned upside down without warning, simply because they believed in someone who was incapable of providing love, affection, reciprocation, understanding, and commitment to an adult relationship.
Unfortunately, victims are unaware of the dangers that exist in becoming involved with a narcissist until it’s too late and often after years of being subjected to trauma, assault, and depression which may result in PTSD( Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) CD (Cognitive Dissonance) &, Stockholm Syndrome (Much like prisoners of war victims are left feeling they have to defend their abuser , love their abuser, despite years of captivity, isolation, deprivation, and abuse).
Narcissist are not easily detected and often appear shy, coy, very polite, professional and courteous. They gain the victims trust by mirroring and projecting the traits of those they wish to emulate.
8 years, I was in a relationship with a Sociopathic Narcissist. I did not even realized until long after he discarded me. Even after our break up and while in relationships with other men, I still wondered why wasnt I good enough for him? Its taking me years to get passed what he did. Part of me he chewed up and spit out so easily were important to who I was and what makes me so special. I am now on the raod to recovery and helping other women fight back and begin their real lives.